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**A Blessing Over Ashes
By: Adam Fifield
A true story about a boy adopted from Cambodia (the killing fields). Dion is interested
in Cambodia so when I got this book in a grab bag I kept it. A good story, written by the brother (biological child) of the
adopted boy. It is amazing what a child can live through. (Frymark)
A
Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents
by Pamela Kruger & Jill Smolowe
A recently published book compiled of essays written by adoptive parents about all aspects of adoption and parenting.
It contains a wide-variety of view points for such a short book and doesn't avoid
discussing the controversial. I have found this book to be profoundly useful
to me as a waiting parent because it is not another book celebrating adoption but a book about real life. I found the
essays about situations not related to my own to be the most eye-opening and honest.
Worth a read and possibly purchase. (Amy C-S)
**Adopt
International
by O. Robin Sweet/Patty
Bryan
General adoption info. (Frymark)
**Adopting the Hurt Child
by: Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky
Found this at the library. I read it but its more about adopting out of the foster
care system. Once again, another book that solidifies why this was not the path for us. Very eye opening
book regarding the problems with adopting older children.
**Adoption for Dummies
by: Tracy Barr and Katrinia Carlisle
The library had a couple more books so I checked them out. This is actually a good book
if you are just starting out on adoption. I would recommend it. (Frymark)
Adoption is a Family Affair! What Relatives and Friends Must Know
by Patricia Irwin Johnston
Recommended by several articles & people as a book to pass on to family. I bought it & read it-was
a little disappointed. I wish they had covered more attachment issues & other things we have been trained on. The book
is encouragement to "get on board" for those who opposed adoption when you made the announcement. Worth sharing as it does
have some good stuff in it - but I hope I don't make anyone feel that they weren't supportive. It is a small book & easy
to read. (Frymark)
Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to your childs beginnings
by: Cindy Probst
This is a workbook that explains what a lifebook is and how to make one. A lifebook focuses
on the child BEFORE adoption. It has nothing to do with the family they end up in. Children in our foster system
are supposed to have one of these that follow them through the system. It is supposed to help them with identity issues
during their life time. (Frymark)
Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming
America
by: Adam Pertman
Title pretty much says it all. Gives a history of how adoption has progressed in our
country. It is a good book to read if you are adopting - but check it out of the library, don't buy it. (Frymark)
Adoption Parenting
Just passing along
a link to a new book coming out. On the CHI Yahoo group, there was a discussion regarding sleep, and this lady wrote
such an informative response that someone asked her where she got the info, and she replied that her new book was just about
to be published. She has been the pres of the FCC-Detroit for many years, and she's done
EXTENSIVE research on this new book. Sounds like a good one! http://www.emkpress.com/adoptparent.html
Kayla
Adoption Parenting:
Creating a Toolbox,
Building Connections
Edited by Jean MacLeod and
Sheena Macrae, PhD
Finally, a comprehensive parenting book
for adoptive families!
Over 100 contributors have helped to weave
a tapestry of advice specifically for adoptive parents. Parenting adopted children requires parenting with an extra layer
and this book helps you to understand where that extra layer falls. This book is a wealth of information for the newly arrived
home family and the experienced family as well. This is a book you won’t read all at once, but come back to again and
again as your child’s awareness of who they are develops and your awareness of how to help them increases.
Our adopted
children come to us from loss. There are helpful things that we can do to address these issues, and Adoption Parenting helps
you to create an awareness to do just that. We also look at stumbling blocks to good parenting, and standard parenting practices
that aren’t right for adopted children.
We look at the core issues all members of the adoption triad face, and look
at how that affects standard parenting challenges like sleeping through the night,
discipline, and attachment. We cover specific challenges families have faced: Trauma and PTSD, Sensory Integration, Speech
and Language delays, and at ways to effectively parent a post-institutionalized
child. PLEASE NOTE, THIS BOOK WILL NOT SHIP UNTIL EARLY JULY 2006
Are Those Kids Yours? American Families with Children Adopted from Other
Countries
by: Cheri Register
This was a really good book dealing with the issues of a trans-racial adoption. I enjoyed
reading it and learned alot. I would definately recommend this one to anyone else adopting across racial lines. (Frymark)
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
by: David Brodzinsky, Marshall Schechter & Robin Marantz
Goes through each stage of life & how loss/grief in adopted children can manifest itself.
I found this informative - there are things I would not have recognized as grief without reading this. Recommend as
a read - not sure that I would buy it to refer to in the future. (Frymark)
Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects on Raising Internationally Adopted Children
by: Cheri Register
If you are willing to listen to the authors message - this is a good book. You might find that you have
fallen into some of the discriptions she uses -- but if you will hear her, you will learn something. Cheri has two adopted
children from Korea - one of which has moved back to Korea to live as an adult. She's been there. The bottom line
message I got from this book is LISTEN to those that have gone before. And that means to the adoptees most of all. Read
this book - you will walk away from it having learned something - I promise. (frymark)
From China With Love: A Long Road To Motherhood
by: Emily Buchanan
A good book about a woman in England and her journey to adopt from China. This is a good book
for those that deal with infertility. It is also neat to have a look at how the system works in England. What I enjoyed
the most is all the hard questions Emily asks of many people. She meets and interviews people like Xinran also.
Emily has always been a reporter so her questions, and the conclusions she comes to are well thought out. (frymark)
How to Raise an Adopted Child
Judith Schaffer
& Christina Lindstrom
Child care for adopted children. Good book for adoptive parents. Points out what grief can manifest as. (Frymark)
Intercountry Adoption From China: Examining Cultural
Heritage and Other Postadoption Issues
Jay W. Rojewski/Jacy L. Rojewski
Very technical, dry book. Has info on studies with adoptive families and how adoptive kids are fitting
into our society. Very good results for the adoption community. Don't really recommend - only because it is too boring
for most people. (Frymark)
**Launching A Babys Adoption
Patricia Irwin Johnston
Book on adopting babies. This one changed
my mind on age to adopt. We were thinking about 2-3 yrs old, but after reading this & Toddler Adoption,
weI switched to infant. (Frymark)
Love's Journey: A Collage of the China Adoption Experience (a Love Without Boundaries book)
Love's Journey is filled with poems, essays, pictures, and artwork that fulfill one of thirteen different
themes. I know that no matter what I am feeling in this lengthy, emotional process that I can find something in this collection
that indicates I am not the only one. Overall, I find this book to be very hopeful and encouraging while honoring the loss
that can occur. I know this is a book that I will share will with my child when she
starts asking about the adoption process itself. I find the book pricey ($40) but worth it. (Amy CS)
Loved by Choice
by Susan Horner & Kelly Martindale
Needed an easy, feel good read after all the serious stuff. Found this at the Christian bookstore - stories
from birth moms, adoptees and adoptive parents & grandparents. Full of good stories; a good read if you need
a little lift during the process. (Frymark)
May The Circle Be Unbroken: An intimate journey into the heart of
adoption
by: Lynn C. Franklin
Written by a woman who relinquished her child & later in life was reunited.
It deals with several people who have had reunions & relationships. The sections in the book are told from 3
points of view: adoptee, adoptive parents & birth mothers. Although the issues are emotional, this is
a positive book that doesn't try to lay blame on why people relinquished their children, why an adoptive person is unhappy
& how scary this reunion is for adoptive parents. Appears to be written about normal people - not from a talk show
point of view. Good book. Anyone adopting should read it. (Frymark)
**Oriental Children in American Homes: How Do They Adjust?
by Frances M. Koh
We won't even go into how politically incorrect the title is - the book was written in the
70's, so I assume "oriental" was not identified as a demeaning word to the general public at that time.
Book is geared towards adopted children (all the adoptees qouted were Korean) that came to
the states when they were at least 4 years old. Describes the differences between American society and Confusun society
and why the children might have a hard time adjusting - or what areas to understand and educate yourself on. I didn't
realize that so many of the Koreans in the 70's were 10+ years old at adoption and had lived with their mother or other
family member. Not very relevant for our situation but still educational. (Frymark)
**Parenting the Hurt Child
by: Keck and Kupecky
I was a little put off by the title - but this was a very good book. Lots of comparisons
in the differences of how we handle adopted children as opposed to biological. It was very easy to read and understandable
and this is a book I will go out and buy to refer back to. This is actually the second book written - the first being
Adopting the Hurt Child - I'm going to find that one to read also. Glad Nancy lent this one to me - I probably
wouldn't have picked it up on my own. (Frymark)
**Parenting with Love and Logic
by: Foster Cline and Jim Fay
This is a great parenting book. I highly recommened it to anyone with kids. Well
worth reading - and an easy read. (Frymark)
**Parenting Teens with Love and Logic
by: Foster Cline & Jim Fay
Continuation of the first book. This is a good series. (Frymark)
**Parenting Your Adopted
Older Child
Brenda McCreight, PH.D.
Fills you in on how hard it is to bond
with older children- yet it is not impossible. Good reading for anyone considering an older child adoption. (Frymark)
Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child
by: Holly van Gulden & Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
This was a good book. One I might buy. Lots of info on separation/loss & how it manifests
at different stages in a child's life. Lot's of resources for extra reading on many different subjects. Highly recommend.
(Frymark)
**Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother
by: Jana Wolff
Author talks about her journey through an adoption. Very fast and easy read. Good to
read as she covers alot of the emotions and thoughts we go through but never say out loud. (Frymark)
Somebody's Daughter: A Novel
by Marie Myung-Ok Lee
(fiction)
About a 19 year old
Korean adoptee who ends up going to Korea to learn the language (& avoid her family in the States) & decides to look
for her birthmother. It is told from the point of view of her birthmother &
herself. The author spent a year in Korea interviewing birth mothers for her book. It may not be the perfect book for all
adoptive parents to read, but I realize that we have a lot to learn from the Korean adoption community. The book can be painful
to read at times, but I felt it was worth it. Her parents deny her anything Korean when she is growing up and if nothing else,
we learn from this fictionalized character why that's not the way to go. Her parents also lied to her and told her that her
parents died in a car accident when she was abandoned. Her abandonment story is incredibly painful to read, even though it
is mentioned throughout the book, but I found it to be believable. It also left me with a different level of empathy for our
babies than I had before. (Amy CS)
**The Adoption Reader
by Susan Wadia-Ells
Not impressed with this book. The author found the most
depressing people to write the stories. Felt more like a pity party book. Stories from birth mom's (why I'm not
a bad person for giving up my baby seemed to be the theme), Adoptive moms (how I supported my childs search for
her birth parents & it made me a better person - the most positive slant in the book) & the adoptee (why
my life is worthless because I dont know the person who didnt keep me - or I met them and even tho I understand I dont
understand - I could have been so much more if I'd been with my birth mom - no matter the situation). Ugh. I dont
recommend this one. If you do read it, take your prozac first. (Frymark)
**The Adoption Sourcebook
by Cheryl Jones
General adoption options. Generic type book for
beginners. (Frymark)
The Language of Blood: A Memoir
by Jane Jeong Trenka
This is a book written by an adult Korean adoptee. It is worth the read. The author tells her story
and how she adjusted to life in general. Its is an encouraging as it is discouraging. I think we can learn much
from the adopted children of Korea. This book gives great examples of how NOT to treat your adopted children. I
highly recommend adoptive parents read it. (Frymark)
The Post-Adoption Blues
by: Karen Foli and John Thompson
Buy it. Read it. Keep it. teaches us to recognized depression - how common
it is - and how to get help. Lots of assesment info. This is a good book - focus on educating everyone about the
problem so we can recognize it and handle it. Buy it. (Frymark)
The Primal Wound by: Nancy Newton Verrier
This book is referenced alot in adoption literature. I really didn't want to read
it since everything referenced always seemed dark. This is one book Nancy let me borrow & encouraged me
to read. I'm not sorry I read it; I learned a few things - BUT the author states that any adoptee that grows
up & seems normal has serious problems of denial & needs serious help.
I also disagree that mother & baby should be kept together at ALL costs - even
if it means we put her on welfare for 3 yrs while she raises the child by herself & doesn't work.
Sorry, but you cannot raise healthy, well adjusted, PRODUCTIVE members of society if you aren't one yourself.
I am a 100% believer in staying home with your children - but not on welfare, at my expense. More 2 parents families
could afford to have mom stay home if we weren't supporting so much of this.
Iceland has a system where any related family member living is responsible for the mother &
child before the governement (this includes extended family, not just parents). It's the law/rules. If you have family
- no welfare. Then I could see the "keep them together at all costs" thing.
The book is worth a read - but don't make it the only book you read - or you will never adopt. It
is very anti-adoption. (Frymark)
**The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child
by Andrea
DellaVecchio
Good general book on adopting. Goes over types
of adoptions, problems & things to think about. (Frymark)
The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan SAved the Life of Another
by Cindy Champnells
This is an easy, fast read. Quite a story about a few Chinese adoptions. Although its mostly
about 2 orphans, there is a third and fourth child from the same orphanage that are a par tof this story also - it is rather
amazing. There are gaps in some information - like exactly why the first child was listed for adoption and exactly what
all the paperwork problems where to get her adopted. Left a lot of questions. Also, if you are adopting an older child
from an orphanage I think there is alot you can learn about conditions these children live in and how it can affect their
integration into a family. Worth a read. (Frymark)
Toddler Adoption: The Weavers Craft:
Mary Hopkins-Best
Good book on challenges of adopting a toddler. This will make you stop & think. Toddlers
are active in their world with no language to contribute - these little ones tend to have a harder time than younger or older.
Anyone adopting a toddler really needs to read this. (Frymark)
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by: Sherrie Eldridge
This book was mostly common sense. I learned a few things about how
grief can affect the adoptee at different stages of life - and how to recognize it. I recommend it as a read
- but check it out from the library, it's not worth spending money on. (Frymark)
Voices From Another Place: A collection of works from a generation born in Korea and adopted
to other countries.
by: Susan Soon-Keum Cox
Title says it all. I find it interesting to read about how grown Korean adoptee's felt about
being brought up by white parents. Good book. (Frymark)
With Eyes Wide Open Workbook and CD
If you are thinking about adopting a child from another
country, please note: because of the time involved in the process, your child will have already attempted to attach to a parent figure. He/she will have experienced pain and hopefully its relief, learned to recognize
language, discovered his or her own body, and divided the world into friend or foe. WITH EYES WIDE OPEN, a 150 page workbook
and interactive CD, will help you prepare for one of the most challenging, yet rewarding experiences you will ever have: taking
a child with life-experiences into your heart and your life, to be a part of you forever.
** I found and bought this workbook during our wait.
It was really eye opening and helpful. I strongly recommend it.
Autumn
Attachment and Bonding:
Becoming a Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child
by Lark Eshleman, Ph. D.
Excellent book on attachment in adooption with a particular focus on international adoption. This
book gives adoptive families specific ways they can foster healthy attachment from the beginning. This book isn't dry
and depressing like the other attachment books I have read. (Amy C-S)
Good book to have on the bookshelf at home. Has games and other suggestions on things
to do to increase eye contact and attachment. Reader friendly - not overly technical. (Frymark)
Children Who Shock and Surprise: A Guide to Attachment Disorders
by: Elizabeth Randolph
This is a small booklet/book that touches on attachment disorder. It gives you direction on where to turn
for more in depth information should you need it. I really learned alot from this. I would escpecially recommend
it to anyone adopting an older or special needs child. Strangely I found comfort in the knowledge that you can't
expect certain children to ever respond to love and caring in the way we think they should. This gives you the freedom
to love them for what they are and not be always waiting for the affection that will never arrive (this is in extreme cases,
not all cases). It's worth the read and its a pretty small book so it wont take you long. (Frymark)
**What's Going on in There?
By Lise Eliot, PH.D.
Very good for anyone raising a child, but especially good for pregnant mothers. Lets
you know what developes in the brain at what points & when you can enhance these processes. Alot of the "windows"
are after birth. It won't help us much with an adopted child as far as being able to take advantage of many key
times, but it is very useful in explaining how important things like touch, sight & sound are - gives a
baseline for understanding if they have a problem in an area - and if we can or cannot enhance that area. It is a big
book, full of information - but also an easy read. Recommend for anyone having children or adopting a child up
to about 3 years old. (Frymark)
Culture/Race and Racism Specific
Asian American Dreams: The Emergence of an American People
Really good book. History of Asians in America - lots of stuff we never learned in school!
I really learned alot from this book and will definatley keep it and recommend it. (Frymark)
Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits: A Sourcebook for Multicultural
Families
by: Myra Alperson
I recommend this to buy if you will be a mulicultural family. There are resources
for all kinds of info. A very good book - glad I bough it instead of checked it out. (Frymark)
Everyday Acts Against Racism: Raising Children in a Multiracial World
by: Maureen T. Reddy
If you are interested in books/articles written by mothers of children of a different race
than themselves, and the challenges and racism issues and how they deal with them -- this is a good book to read. You
can get some pretty good ideas on how to deal with some pretty hard issues. I don't know that I would recommend buying
it as you will get what you need from it the first time around - but it is definately worth the read (Frymark)
**Growing up Asian American
by Maria Hong
This book has many stories from Asian Americans. Most are works of fiction based on their
lives in America. It wasnt what I expected but it was a good read. (Frymark)
Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Marriage, Identity, and Adoption
by: Randall Kennedy
This is a pretty deep book. You will find lots of stuff that will never hit our history books. It is a good
history book on race and relations in America. I wasn't crazy about the chapters on adoption as the author does not
believe that there should be race matching in adoption - and I do. My personal opinion runs that if all things are equal
and a child of color is wanted by a white couple or a couple of the same race, the child should be raised by the couple of
the same race for reasons to involved to state here. The author - a person of color - disagrees and gives all his reasons
- which are good reasons. If anyone else reads this I'd love to discuss the book with you! (Frymark)
Loving Across the Color Line: A White Adoptive Mother Learns About Race
by Sharon E. Rush
This is an eye opening book. If you want to learn some hard facts about goodwill whites and racism
in America this is a good place to start. Recommend. (Frymark)
Racism Explained to My Daughter
Tahar Ben Jelloun
This is a pretty good book. Its first part is the author explaining racism to his ten year old daughter.
This is taken from actual conversations he had with his daughter and some of her friends at different times. The
second half of the book is other adults responses to what he wrote. Not a hard book to read and it can be pretty
informative. Helps a person understand what we need to do as an individual to fight racism. Check it out! You might even want
to buy this one. (Frymark)
Strangers From a Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans
by Ronald Takaki
A good history book on Asians in America (including Hawaii). Lots of information and an easy read.
Its not a pretty story - I didnt realize we actually tried to keep non-whites from being citizens right from the beginning
and only wanted a white country. Hard stuff. (frymark)
The Accidental Asian
by Eric Liu
This book is written by a ABC (American Born Chinese). It was a good book to read to give me a glimpse
of what it is like to not be mainstream white in our society even when you consider yourself 100% American. There is
worth in reading this if you are adopting transracially. There is even a chapter near the end of the book where he speculated
what it much be like to be an Asian adopted by white parents and how you find yourself in that case. Worth the read.
(Frymark)
**The Content of Our Character: A New Vision of Race in America
by: Shelby Steele
Good book on race in America. It pretty much concentrates on black/white relations so doesnt help
much in regards to raising Asian children and helping prepare them. There are some chapters on White Guilt if this is
something you are struggling with that I thought were helpful. (Frymark)
The Melancholy of Race: Psychoanalysis, Assimilation, and Hidden Grief
by Anne Anlin Cheng
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Okay, so I'm not highly educated -- but I read TONS of books. I couldn't barely
get through a page at a time on this one. It talked in circles and did so with the biggest words imaginable!! I
actually did the thing I NEVER do (Its a compulsion to finish every book I start) and didn't even read the whole thing! If
you like academic sounding picking apart of other peoples books, this is the one for you. Ugh.
The Rainbow Effect: Interracial Families
by Kathlyn Gay
This book discusses family life where mom's or dad's don't match the kids. Mostly it refers to biracial
children, but also has a chapter on Interracial adoption. The families talk about how they deal with the issues and
give you some ideas on what works for them. Its a book that is worth the read, but not to buy - check it out of the
library. (Frymark)
Transracial Adoption: Children and Parents Speak
by Constance Pohl & Kathy Harris
I dont think you can do wrong to read these kinds of books if you are adopting transracially.
You will always learn something. This one is a little older and deals almost completely with black/white adoptions,
but there is alot of good stuff in here. Read it! (Frymark)
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
by: Beverly Daniel Tatum
A book about racial issues and how racial identity is developed. A good book that taught me some things -
but definately not light reading! Recommend for those adopting transracially. (Frymark)
Yellow
by Frank Wu
Very hard to read. Book an race/racial relations and where Asians fit it. I think it is worth
reading to open your eyes on some issues our children will face - but check it out of the library - dont buy it.
**** I have now referred back to this book several times in race discussions. I change my mind about
not buying it -- BUY IT. As your mind opens to the racism your child will face and you learn more and more, this becomes
an important book to help you (the white parent) to understand and grow. Please read this book if you are adopting an
Asian child of any race. (Frymark)
China Specific:
**1421: The Year China Discovered America
by: Gavin Menzies
While on vacation in Florida, I ran across this book at the condo we stayed in. I wasn't expecting
much but I had just finished the book I brought with me to read so I picked it up. I knew I didn't have time to read the whole
thing since we were only there a couple of days - and I had heard that it wasn't a very exciting book so I just wanted
to browse through it a little. After a call to the owner of the condo, this book came home with me (a good way
to eat up 1200 miles in the car). I did like reading it and found it interesting. I think I was ready for a change and
a history book was just what I needed. I would assume that this book would appeal to men more than women as it
is a history book full of facts, etc. It is not a story book. I do recommend it if you like history type books.
You also get a little lesson on the time frame when China decides to isolate herself from the rest of the world and why. (frymark)
A Daughter of Han: The Autobiography of a Chinese Working Woman by Ida Pruitt
as told by Ning Lao T’ai-t’ai ©1945
This story begins in 1867 with Ning Lao T’ai-t’ai’s childhood. It progresses through her
life as a girl and a woman living in China through 1938 when the Japanese invaded China. It describes her life as a simple
woman, her marriage (not good), her struggle to keep herself and her daughters fed and the different jobs she held.
(Mary M)
This was a good read. You follow a woman's life up until shortly before her death. It is unbelieveable
how the poor in China live and how hard women had it. Again, it explains alot about the attitudes towards girl children
and the hardships they faced. This is a good book. (Frymark)
**A Foreign Devil in China
by John Pollock
Story of Dr. Bell - a missionary doctor (and the father of Billy Grahams wife) and all the
years he spent in China. It was a very good book and if you like reading about missionaries I would recommend it.
(Frymark)
A Leaf in the Bitter Wind: A Memoir
by Ting-Zing Ye
This was a very good book. Its amazing how some people survived the cultural revolution in China. I recommend
this one for a good look at what some kids lived through. The author was an orphan at a young age along with her siblings
and was still considered upper class because of their parents - even though they lived on welfare from the state to survive.
Makes no sense. It is a long book but an easy read. Has a decent ending - although leaving a child behind can not be
considered a happy ending -- yet I just don't get how she could have done that. I wonder just how many of the people
that lived through the Cultural Revolution are actually fully attached to ANYONE though. Crazy stuff. (Frymark)
**A Passport to China
by Lucy Foothill
This is a story set in the late 1800's. Lucy Foothill is the wife of a missionary in China. I don't
recommend this book. It is rather long and did not have very vivid descriptions of her surroundings - it was more about her
feelings. She also tended to talk around subject instead of state things -- for example, she never states when she is
pregnant and just says she has problems traveling at one point due to her conditions - and with the appearance of the baby
you get it. She also talks around the fact that she is marrying a missionary in the beginning. She makes comments
where you can guess that, but she never states it. Anyways, its a very lengthy book and your time could be better served
reading one of the other books that describe China and her people much better. (Frymark)
**A Thousand Pieces of Gold
By Adeline Yen Mah
Another of the books by the author of Chinese Cinderella. I like this author so of course
I recommend the book. You learn alot of history and proverbs in this one. (Frymark)
**A Woman Soldier's Own Story: The Autobiography of Xie Bingying
by: Lily Chia Brissman & Barry Brissman
This is a book about a young girl that came of age when the armies started taking women and things began
to change for women in China. Girl rejects traditional marriage (not a bad thing) and ends up living with some
loser, having a child, leaving her child and never really seeming to find happiness. Guess I'm pretty old fashion because
I still dont understand why rejecting the old ways of arranged marriages has to go hand in hand with living with men and having
their children - instead of marring someone of their choice. Check it out from the library if you are interested - not
worth buying in my opinion. (Frymark)
**Adopting in China: A Practical
Guide/An Emotional Journey
by Kathleen Wheeler Ph.D. and
Doug Werner
Good book on a couples adoption,
told by father. These were 46 yr olds with no children, so the story is very
comical to me. I loved it when they stopped at the beach to surf on their way to the airport. Some
people have expressed a dislike for the book because the father doesn't seem to respect the Chinese very much.
I thought it was more like first time parents, very self centered, with not much of a clue on a lot of things. (Frymark)
Americans & Chinese: Passage to Differences (3rd edition)
By Francis L. K. Hsu
This book took me months and months to read -- it was one I would read a little out of before starting to
read my "real" book I was into at the moment. Even though it was not a fast read, it was a very good read. This
book concentrates on the differences between Americans and Chinese and their countries and ways of life. It was real eye opening
and I feel like I learned alot. It makes me feel like I understand the big picture of why we are so different in
many things. If you are interested in this kind of comparision, it is worth reading. I am keeping the book. (frymark)
Baba: A Return to China on my Father's Shoulders
by: Belle Yang
This is a book about the stories that the author's father told her about his growing up in
China. The author went to China and lived for awhile and went to art school. The book is full of the authors paintings.
So I found it to be a nice story book and art book in one. This one is worth checking out and reading. Another
look at how the poor lived and some of the superstitions of China. (Frymark)
Beyond the Stone Arches: An American Missionary Doctor in China
by Edward Bliss Jr
I REALLY enjoyed this book. Although Dr. Bliss was a missionary, he was more of a doctor
and helper of the Chinese people. He was a strong Christain but did not evangelize. I say this so that the title
will not put anyone off from reading it. It is a fantastic story and this man did so many things for the Chinese
people that he loved. I'd have to say this is one of my favorites of the books on people living in China that I have
read so far. (Frymark)
**China: 7000 Years of Discovery
China Ancient Technology
Small book about Chinese inventions. They invented many things long before the people
we learn in school. Interesting to read. Some of their inventions: paper, gunpowder, compass, and printing
just to name a few. (Frymark)
**CHINA: The Dream of Man?
by Tore Zetterholm
Big picture book on China. A pretty quick read. I found it very interesting and
will keep. (Frymark)
***China Journal 1889-1900: An American Missionary Family During the Boxer Rebellion
by: Eva Jane Price
This book is made up of letters written home by Eva Price during the timeframe the book covers. I
didn't think it was going to be very good based on that - was afraid it would be too one sided to be a smooth read.
It turned out to be a very good book that I looked forward to picking up in my spare time. If you are at all interested
in the conditions the missionaries lived in and the response of the people, this is well worth a read. You are not going
to learn a whole lot about China as a whole, but will get some insight on why the Chinese tended to be anti-foriegner. (frymark)
**China To Me
by Emily Hahn
This is a pretty old book. Emily's experience living in China from about 1935 to 1942.
It is an interesting story - she was quite a pioneer. Unfortunatley she was not a very moral person (in my opinion)
so that limited some of my enjoyment of the book. (Call me crazy, I just can't get into living with and having a married
man's baby). It was suspenseful reading through the Japenese occupation and how she survived. You can learn a
thing or two about history in this book. (Frymark)
China Wakes: The Struggle For The Soul of a Rising Power
by: Nicholas Kristof & Sheryl Wudunn
Good book written in the 90's about 2 journalist living in China. Very interesting read. (Frymark)
**Chinese Cinderella: The true story of an unwanted daughter
by Adeline Yen Mah
Very good, but very sad book. This is one I want to share with Alia later as it might
give her a glimpse of the thought processes in China regarding their girls. I recommend this book - it is very easy
to read -- but it is very sad. (Frymark)
**Chinese Family and Kinship
by Hugh D. R. Baker
Dont bother. Very boring - not written well. Skip this one and read something you
will enjoy more. I do believe this one is used as a school course material. (Frymark)
**Chinese Mettle
E.G. Kemp
This is an old book that was printed in 1921. It is written by a lady that travel quite
a lot in China for that time period. She was a big supporter of missions and she loved China. This book is just
her telling about the places and people that she met while traveling over there. It was interesting as it was pre-communist.
(Frymark)
**Chinese Practices and Beliefs
by Dr. Evelyn Lip
A general book on Chinese culture. It seems to be written with the children of imigrants
in mind - to help expose them to the Chinese Culture. Check it out from the library if you are interested - not sure
that I would buy it. (Frymark)
Chinese Proverbs From Olden Times
Neat little book. Now I know where to get some "wishes" qoutes.
(Frymark)
**Chinese Tasty Tales Cookbook
by Gary Lee
It's a cookbook and its a story book. Found it at a garage sale or something. I love
the drawings, and the stories are good, but not sure how many of the recipes I would use. (Frymark)
**Chinese Women through Chinese Eyes
by Li Yu-ning
The first half of this book is very textbook like. It was a bunch of different papers
written on the subject of womens place in Chinese history and all the changes coming about. It was hard to get
through as I kept falling asleep. But - the second half of the book was actual writings from women on their lives instead
of somebody lecturing on the subject. Those chapters were very good and you got a look at the life of the average
woman in China in history. Not something that I would recommend at a "buy". If you are interested in this subject
it is worth a read - at least the second half! (Frymark)
*Cloud Mountain: A Novel
by: Amiee E. Liu
This is a work of fiction based on the lives of the authors grandparents. The grandmother was American and
the grandfather Chinese. They met at an American college and fell in love. They proceeded to travel to another
state to get married as California did not allow mixed marriages. After a few years in the states, they return to China
were the husband is very big into the political scene and all the changes taking place in the country. Not sure how
much I recommend the book. It really is a sad and lonely story - and as it is a work of fiction, I think there are many
other sources where you can learn cultural information on the time period. But if you are looking for a fictional piece
this may do for you. I dont think guys would like it too much -- almost borders a romance type novel in the writing
style. (frymark)
**Colors of the Mountain
by Da Chen
Story of a landlords son growing up during the cultural revolution. Not an easy life
to lead! Will open up your eyes to how hard the Chinese will work to be able to have schooling -- and show you
how easy our kids have it in America. It's almost shameful. A good read - check it out of the library. (Frymark)
Come Watch the Sun Go Home
by Chen Chen
Another story of a family that lived throught the Cultural Revolution and beyond. The author was a
child in the beginning of all the changes, and a mother of 2 grown children by Tiennamen Square time in the 80's. It
is a good a book and I enjoyed it even though I've read several stories from this time frame now. It was well written
and kept me coming back for more each night before sleepy time.
(frymark)
**Coming Home Crazy
by Bill Holm
This is a book of random essays written by a English Teacher that went to China to teach the
English Language for a year. He is known as a writer here in the states also. It was a good book and I laughed
at his sense of humor many times. He really grew to love China and it's people and it really shows in his writing. (Frymark)
**Customs & Etiquette in China
By Caroline Mason
Small book with some general guidelines on how to behave in China. It was written in 95 so
I'm not sure how accurate it is. (Frymark)
**Daughter of China: A True Story of Love and Betrayal
by Meihone Nu and Larry Engelmann
This was a good book. I read it in no time as I had a hard time putting it down. Story of a girl that
was trained as a spy in China - who then befriends an American and pays for it. Unbelievable what she went through.
Not a happy ending, feel good kind of book. I really liked it though. (Frymark)
Empress Orchid
by Anchee Min
This is a fiction novel based on the last Empress of China. I don't read alot of fiction
books latley, but this was the book of the month for the online China books group I am a member of. So, I read
it. I LOVED it! It was a really good read. And I must say, I would never want to be the Emperors wife or concubine!
I'm surprised they all didn't go nuts! (Frymark)
**Falling Leaves: The True Story of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter
by Adeline Yen Mah
This is written by the author of Chinese Cinderella. I wanted to know a little more about
her life so I ordered this book. It is an unbelievable story of negelct and emotional abuse from her whole family.
It is amazing that she succeeded like she did. A very good book but not easy to read emotionally. (Frymark)
**Four Sisters of Hofei
by Annping Chin
Title explains it all. True story. Not nearly as good as the others I've read but
I did learn some more cultural things. Probably wont keep this one. (Frymark)
**God's Adventurer
by: Phyllis Thompson
Book about a Hudson Taylor, a missionary to China. Very small book, quick read.
It was interesing but I wish there had been a little more info on his time in China. (Frymark)
***Good Luck Life: The essential guide to Chinese American
Celebrations and culture
This is like the adult version of Moonbeams Dumplings &
Dragon
Boats. It explains the meanings of Chinese rituals and offers advice on planning for festivals and special events (weddings,
funerals etc.).
Homesick: My Own Story
Jean Fritz
Written by an American woman that was born in China and returned to the states when she was 12.
It is written for the young adult age group. A good story that was interesting to read. A good one for those kids in your
home while waiting for your new daughter/son. (frymark)
Hungry Ghosts: Mao's Secret Famine
By: Jasper Becker
This is a sobering book. It will keep you up at night and astound you that such things actually happened.
But - I also got a different look at Mao. For the longest time I just thought he was horrible. Now I think there are many
things he didn't really know about. The lengths his people would go to in order to make it look like his idea's were working
were unbelievable. Everyone was so afraid of not being a success that they were very deceptive. I recommend this book to give
you a different look at how Mao got away with so much. Warning - if canniblism is too much for you to handle, do
not read this book. It is harsh. (Frymark)
**Insight Guides: China
General travel book about China. Only really interesting if you are going to
be traveling. (Frymark)
**Iron and Silk
by Mark Salzman
This was a true book about an American who goes to China to teach English for 2 years in the
early 80's. Very good book, very quick read and I highly recommend. It gives you a few clues on culture differences
and is just a really good story. Not sure I'd buy it - a library read if you can find it. (Frymark)
**Journey To The Forbidden China
by: Steven W. Mosher
Written by a man who traveled by van through parts of China in the late 70's - previously unheard
of. He was interested to see if the peasant's really were better off at the government told the world. He
described how untrue that is and the surroundings and conditions he saw. Interesting story. I wonder if it's still
the same in 2000. (Frymark)
Leaving Mother Lake: A Girlhood at the Edge of the World
by Yang Erche Namu & Christine Mathieu
This was a very good book. It describes the life of a girl raised in a village that is
run by the women. It is very interesting to read and I am glad I ran across this. It is unbelievable that
this kind of living is still going on in remote villages. No shoes in the winter! Worth the read! (Frymark)
**Little Sister: Searching for the Shadow World of Chinese Women
by Julie Checkoway
This book is the memoir of an American that went to China to teach for a year. Her focus
was to find out more about the life of Chinese women. It was a good story - but not the best I've read. I have
an interest in all these books as they each give you a glimps of the world of the Chinese woman which I hope helps me to understand
what kinds of issue can lead up to abandonment of a baby. This is one I would recommend as a check out from the
library - not a buy. (Frymark)
**Mao's Last Dancer
by Li Cunxin
I found this as a book on tape at the library and decided to listen to it in the car. My poor kids are always
stuck listening to something -- and yet in the end they tell me to turn it on whenever they get in the car as it catches thier
attention. I didnt know anything about this book and just started listening to it. Probably a good thing as I wouldnt
have picked it otherwise. The story is about a famous Chinese ballet dancer and his life. It is actually a rather
good book and heartbreaking also. It is a good look at how hard it is to leave China and settle somewhere else.
He ends up defecting while in America going to a dance college workshop. You also learn how this affects the people
that sponsored him, his family left behind, and what it did to his soul. I am glad that I listened to it instead
of reading it, as this gave it another deminsion to keep your interest. If you have a trip coming up, this would
be worth checking out and listening to. (frymark)
Mei Mei: Portraits From A Chinese Orphanage
by Richard Bowen (a Half the Sky Foundation book)
This is a book of 100 photographs of girls in a variety of orphanages with very few infants. He did not pose
the children or tell them if they should smile or not. The result is a collection of pictures that both fill me with hope
and make me melancholy. To me, this is more of a book to purchase for my child to look at later than for me to better understand
orphans in China. Most of the purchase price goes to the organization. (Amy CS)
I also have this book. I must say it is a dangerous book to own because I am gripped with the overwhelming
urge to go back to China and adopt another little girl - and another....and another. I think China should consider a
list of children ages 3-10 ready for immediate adoption - non-special needs that they list like they do with the special
needs children. (Frymark)
**Mr. China: A Memoir
by: Tim Clissold
This is a book I read becasue it was one assigned for a China bookclub I joined. I wasn't really interested
in it as it is about doing business in China. I have to say I ended up enjoying the book alot and reading it rather
quickly. The dealing between westerners and the Chinese were crazy! They do things so differently than we do.
I would say this is worth a read if you are interested in how the two interface. (Frymark)
***Notes on Things Chinese
by Evelyn Lip
Small book with things invented by China, or people from China, holidays, etc. (Frymark)
** Paper Daughter: A Memoir
By M. Elaine Mar
This book is written by a woman that moved to the state from China when she was about 4/5 years old.
It was a very easy and fast read. What you learn from this book is mostly how she was treated growing up in the American
schools and how she tried to fit it. Alot of her experiences wouldn't relate to raising our adopted children as she
had to live with her Chinese parents and their old ideas while trying to fit in our society. Her parents never even
learned to speak english in all the years they lived here. It was a good book, but it doesnt relate much to our adoptions
beyond the teasing and not fitting in well in the school system - but I think we are all pretty well prepared for some version
of this already. (Frymark)
Portraits of Chinese Women in Revolution
by Agnes Smedley
This is a book full of the stories of individual women (and sometimes men) during the cultural revolution.
I found it educational in understanding the mind set of different classes during this time. It's not a book I would go out
and buy - get it from the library. One of the interesting things about this book is that it was written by an American
woman that went and lived in China and marched with the army at that time. (Frymark)
*Postcards From China
by Sandra Slavin
This is a pretty good book that was very enjoyable. Basically it is the story of a couple that adopted from
China and then decided to retire and move there for a few years. He was a doctor with a very busy practice and not seeing
much of his family so they thought this would be a great opportunity. Both parents taught English the two years they
were there. The book is made up of the emails they sent home to family talking about their days and nights and
all they saw and experienced. I wouldnt mind doing this myself!
(frymark)
**Red Azalea
by Anchee Min
Another true story about a woman who grew up during the cultural revolution. These are
really amazing stories and I cant believe the things people lived through. (Frymark)
**Red Scarf Girl: A Memoir of the Cultural Revolution
by Ji Li Jiang
This is actually my daughters book - it was given to her by her 4th grade teacher while we were in our wait
for referral. This is a good book. I read it in one day (although it is thick, it is written at about a Jr. High level).
I hope Cierra reads it as it will give her quite an education on the cultural revolution. Highly recommend for your
teens or even for adults. (Frymark)
**River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze
by: Peter Hessler
A book about a teacher for the peace corps who spends 2 years in China teaching. I like
reading these because you always stumble onto cultural taboo's and such from the mistakes others have made. This was
a good story that I recommend. (Frymark)
Sisters Redeem Their Grumpy Dad
by Terry L. Garlock
Great book. I highly recommend anyone adopting from China buy this book - not just read it. It
is a father writing about his adoptions from China. At the end of the book he has written to his daughters the things he wants
them to know about life in case he's not around. It is outstanding. He also shows pictures & text for a powerpoint presentation
he did for his girls with their adoption story. All great idea's & very helpful. I got more belly laughs out of this book
than I have from any other book in a long time. This book is going off sale so if you are interested in it find a copy NOW!!!
(Frymark)
***The Bonesetter Daughter
by Amy Tan
I actually listened to this on tape on my way to the lifebook class in Kansas City. I really
liked the story and am glad I ran across it at the library. It deals mostly with the life of the main characters mother
and gradmother in China. (Frymark)
**The Girl From Purple Mountain: Love, Honor, War, and One Family's Journey from China to
America
by May-lee Chai and Winberg Chai
This was an interesting book. It gives you a look at life in China from before Japan invaded until the family
comes to the states for good when the Communists take over. When they get to the states, the focus then becomes the visits
back to China and the changes that have taken place. This book is different from many of the others I have read in the
fact that the 2 main characters were from well off families and both were college educated in the United States. Worth
the read for a look at life in China from a more middle class veiwpoint. (Frymark)
**The Good Earth
by: Pearl S. Buck
This is the classic from the 30's I think. It was a really good book - read it in 2 days.
If you are looking for a goodl fiction book to read this is great. It's one I will keep. (Frymark)
**The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices
by Xinran
This is a book written by a radio personality. After Mao died and China began its "opening up" period,
Xinran decided she wanted to do a talk show on Women's lives. This book is the result of some of her interviews,
taped messages and letters that she really could not air in communist China. The content is sad as there are many stories
of what women lived through during the cultural revolution. This is not a book for your young teens. Worth
the read - recommend checking it out of the library instead of buying. (Frymark)
**The House of Exile
by Nora Waln
This is a book written by an American that became the "adopted" daughter of a wealthy house
in China in the 1920's. She meets her husband in China also and lives there for years. A slow start but I found the
book rather interesting. They lived on "Shameen" Island and I loved reading the discriptions and such after having spent
2 weeks there. The hard part is that the book wasn't finished properly. Then at the end of the book they added what was
to be a second book - the parts that were found at a later date - which just confused me more. I would love to know when and
why she left China (probably due to her husbands job) and what happened in the big meeting with her adoptive family on her
way to Japan to work years later. Left me wanting more! (Frymark)
The Lady and the Panda: The True Adventures of the First American Explorer to Bring Back
China's Most Exotic Animal
by: Vicki Constantine Croke
I actually listened to this on CD during our long drive to Florida. It is about the widow of an explorer
that died in China. The widow then decides to carry on his dream of bringing the first panda to America. This all occured
in the 1930's - which makes a woman traveling to China and heading up an expedition rather shocking. You don't learn
a great amount about China really. You do learn alot about her love for the Chinese people and her love of the country, along
with information about how the foriegn consessions were in that time period. I found it to be a good book and would
recommend it - especially for a long drive! (frymark)
The Lost Daughters of China
Karin Evans
EXCELLENT book. Please
read this if you are someone who will be a part of our child's life. Explains a lot of things. (Frymark)
**The Stone of Heaven: Unearthing the Secret History of Imperial
Green Jade
by: Adrian Levy & Cathy Scott-Clark
Not really an adoption book - its a history book on the story of imperial jade.
I love jade so I was interested in the background. Interesting reading - a different way to get a history lesson on
China. I hope I can find some good jade while we are in China to bring home - although I know it wont be the imperial
jade as it is way out of reach price wise. (Frymark)
**The White-Haired Girl: Bittersweet Adventures of a Little Red Soldier
by: Jaia Sun-Childers
Very good biography type book. I am fascinated by what the Chinese lived through with
the Cultural Revolution, etc. Unbelievable stuff. I recommend this one - its one I will keep. (Frymark)
**The Wok: A Chinese Cook Book
by: Gary Lee
This little book is more explanation of techniques, etc. rather than just a cook book. I enjoyed reading
it and will keep it and try out their suggestions.
**Ties That Bind, Ties That Break
by Lensey Namioka
This is a fiction novel about a girl that refuses to have her feet bound - and an indulgent
father that allows it. It is during the time when things are just starting to change. But she does loose her engagement when
the boys family does not want a woman with unbound feet. The book follows her life, her schooling and eventually her defection
-- which was the result of all the shame she lived with. A very fast read. Entertaining but doesn't really give you a
picture of China for educational purposes - but a good fiction read. (Frymark)
**Tracing it Home:A Chinese Journey
by: Lynn Pan
Dont bother. Not well written and not much of a story really. There are many more books
out there with very interesting stories. If you do read this, check it out of the library - dont buy it. (frymark)
**Traditional Chinese Designs: Iron-on Transfer Patterns
Dover Needlework Series
Actually picked this up with the lifebook in mind. Has some pretty neat stuff. (Frymark)
**Treason By The Book
by Jonathan D. Spence
About the case of Zeng Jing, in the 1700's in China. A case of treason against the emperor.
It was real good at putting me to sleep at night - but it was actaully a very interesting book on how they investigated crimes
in China way back when. This is one to check out of the library and not buy. It is worth the read if you are interested
in the history of China and interested in investigations. (Frymark)
Two Years in the Melting Pot
by: Liu Zongrean
This was a book from a different perspective than we are used to seeing. This was a man that came
to America for 2 years to study from China. It was interesting to see how he viewed our culture -- and to follow his
homesickness and longings for China. This was one person that was more interested in the simple lifestyle of home
than the crazy material America. An interesting read. (Frymark)
Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son: Abandonment, Adoption, and Orphanage care in China.
By: Kay Ann Johnson
Excellent book. I recommend this even more than the Lost Daughters of China. Along the same
lines as Lost Daughters but more in depth - especially regarding abandonment. Check this book out - it will teach you
so much about China & the reason there are so many babies. Maybe its a little different than you thought.... (Frymark)
This book discusses the history of child (female) abandonment in China and the reasons why it is happening
now, adoption policies, the misconceptions of the value of girls in the society, inconsistencies in policy, and the one child
rule. Included in the book are testimonies and reports of the government influences in these decisions that the parents make
about their daughters and other children and the punishments that are forced onto the mothers, often horrible when enforced,
for going over quota for children. This book is a wonderful reference for understanding the population planning in China,
the effects of it on the families, and orphanage’s struggle to save these children. (Mary M)
Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang ©1991
This book is a autobiography/biography of the author and her mother and grandmother living in
China. The story begins with the author’s grandmother as a child and marrying a warlord at the age of 15 before the
Japanese invasion. It progresses through the political trials and their personal lives through the 20th century.
Jung Chang’s mother is central to the story as it shows her growing up under Mao Tse Tung’s rule and the Cultural
Revolution, Red Guard, and political manipulation of the people and her parents. It is a good book and shows the personal
side of this period of Chinese history. (Mary M)
True story of a family - 3 generations of the women. Hard to read due to the complete
misery and oppression they endured. It is a good book - and in a way makes it easier to see how the women of China can
leave thier children for someone to find and take to the orphanage. I found it very serious and heartbreaking
but definately worth reading. (Frymark)
Yak Butter & Black Tea: A Journey into Forbidden China
Wade Brackenbury
Story of a young man that takes a few trips to China to try and get to a remote valley and its people. It
is all forbidden territory and he has to take many uncharted/dangerous routes. They have many run ins with the authorities.
A good read. (frymark)
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